A Long Night of Regrets
By Antonio De Villar
A long night of regrets,
Turning into a lie of cheater's guilt.
I am too far gone—
Gone too far away to hurt, so I think I’ll stay.
I am all scrubbed up and upside down, kind of like overdrive.
All that’s left of me is what I pretend to be—
So together, but so broken up inside.
There is nowhere left to hide.
I am just the shattered mirror.
I’m completely in the zone.
I am insane and overwhelmed.
I care, but I’m restless.
I’m here, but I’m really gone.
I’m hard, but I’m friendly.
I’m sad, but I’m laughing.
I constantly move.
I can’t stop talking.
I am simply not myself.
Obsessive compulsion has embedded itself.
But nothing means more to me now—
Except my next baggie of tricks.
In my hidden place, I’ll go…
Another line, another blow.
Am I still numb?
It’s nice to hide in a feeling of high bliss.
I wake to first thoughts.
The calling won’t go.
I caved—just a little.
I screwed up, I know.
I’m starting to hate the day
Even more than I hate the night.
But relentlessly, I will stay.
Insanity whispers and treads lightly.
It whispers to you through the night:
Depression. Desperation. Dementia…
Written by Antonio De Villar
Copyright © 2005
